I want to add a few footnotes to the last two entries on Faith.

Ann wrote about waiting for the results of the PET scan. She was scanned the day before the Chrysalis weekend where she gave the talk and we didn't get the results until the day after it ended. Waiting is one of the most agonizing aspects of cancer. This was the only PET scan Ann had. They are very expensive and we had to fight the insurance company to get it. Ann's doctor at IU suspected the cancer was on the move. Ann did the entire Chrysalis weekend with this hanging over her head. We were the Prayer Warriors which meant we set up a Chapel and prayed for the kids practically non-stop.

Wow! This brings tears right now. How did she do it? Faith. Faith, refined by an unquenchable fire that eventually killed her. Despite the other indications, the PET scan showed her tumor was still stable and she lived another 20 months.

Ann and I actually gave this talk together. You probably noticed the note in Ann's text indicating it was time for me to say something. I don't speak from a prepared script, but from an outline. At several points througout this talk, I offered "color commentary."

The weeks leading up the retreat were the worst for me emotionally. I handled Ann's actual dying and death much better than I handled the thought of losing her. Long story short, the debilitating anxiety that crushed me for about 8 weeks lifted just in time for this retreat.

I spoke of Ann's identification with Job. In the story, God allows the adversary to tempt Job. The adversary thinks Job's goodness is based on the fact that God blesses him. Take away the blessings and Job will curse God to his face. Job then loses everything; everything but his faith. Ann lost everything but her faith. She was totally and utterly destroyed. Suffering is a great tempter. Suffering tempts us to deny God. Job passed the test. Ann passed the test.

Some time later I realized that Ann not only has a strong identification with Job, but with Jesus Himself. This seals the truth of Christianity for me. I cannot understand life as I've experienced it apart from the suffering and death of Jesus.

Thankfully, it doesn't end there. In the words of Tony Campolo, "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming." Every day is resurrection Sunday for Job. Everyday is Sunday for Ann.